Most people expect to see a stalk of celery poking out of a traditional Bloody Mary. Traditions are all well and good for Grandma and the Young Republicans Corps, but the rest of you have gotta learn to let your hair down. For instance, I love to put pickled or fresh asparagus in mine. When you see all that asparagus has to offer, you may want to give the celery a rest, too. To be fair, though, asparagus isn’t one hundred percent perfect. Here are its strong and weak points:
* full of vitamins and minerals
* low in calories
* has aphrodisiac properties, they say
* great for your heart, colon, and kidneys
* helps relieve menstrual cramps
* can be good for depression
* acts as an anti-inflammatory and diuretic
* gets rid of warts
* lowers LDL cholesterol
* fights off aging with antioxidants
* helps with chronic fatigue syndrome
* wards off high blood pressure
* prevents varicose veins, cataracts, and hair loss
* helps treat toothaches
* makes your pee smell horrifying
* a bit too wimpy to use as a stirrer
* too phallic to eat in public, unless you’re that kind of girl
So, are you ready to replace your celery or pickled green bean for something a little more controversial?
Here is a recipe if you decide to make your own.
And here’s where you can buy it.
Let me know how it goes!